Sunset to Sunrise

Lyrics from “Lua”

“…What’s so easy in the evening by the mornings such a drag.”
“…What was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane.”

“…What is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is.
Yeah it was simple in the moonlight now it’s so complicated.”

What those lyrics are getting at in the song is the difference of mindsets from morning to night. Maybe you’re not like this? I don’t know, so I’ll speak for myself. For me, it’s literally like a switch gets hit and everything stops making sense. I can have the grandest ideas, the most positively perplexing thoughts, or the most life changing plans at night. Then I wake up and my idea doesn’t make as much sense as it did before, my thoughts are now cloudy, and my plan - well it’s just too complicated to attack.

How does this happen? Does my mind function differently at night then it does in the morning? Am I more of a dreamer at night and logical-reason grounded person at dawn? Does something happen during sleep?


What I’m not talking about is a person who just isn’t a early riser. I’m not talking generally about apathy or being lethargic in the morning.

What I am talking about are those epiphanies that occur from evening on into the night.

• An epiphany is a sudden realization, a intuitive leap of understanding, an initial thought of direction, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence.

Granted, the death of an epiphany can be both good or bad depending on the subject matter, but I would make the point from my own experience that most epiphanies are life-enriching harmless thought processes. They guide us to new hobbies, to become better people, to our to-do lists for the next day, and if stuck to - change our lives.

A good example can be drawn from attending church just once a week on Sunday:

The worship hit’s a new climax and a connection to God is made in a powerful way. A prayer lets off to God, and you say, “God, Change me! I am a broken sinner! I struggle with this and this right now. With your help, I’m going to change starting tomorrow! Then the sermon is finished and you’ve gained great biblical insight to help you on the path to being more righteous. You have a few conversations with people in the congregation about more “worldly” things. After that you go home, and maybe you ‘do well’ the rest of the day because that fire is still burning within you. Then you go to bed that night and say another prayer of thanks for the experience you had during the day at Church. Then you go to sleep……

The next day things are different. That fire has died just a little. God may have been ready to do his part, but now you’re a little less prepared on Monday than you were on Sunday. Then the next day there are only hot coals left. Then by Wednesday or Thursday the fire has ceased to glow at all.

That is just one example. This whole idea spreads throughout life. It prevents us from living dreams, learning a new languages, picking up and learning a new musical instruments, doing something very special for someone in need, or even doing something special for the one we love. I could go on and on and on.

What is this and why does it happen?

“Many persons call a doctor when all they want is an audience.”

“Huh…what? Oh, sorry, I was thinking about what I wanted to say after you were done talking.” Imagine that honesty… Are we really that desperate for someone, anyone, everyone to listen?

What traits come to mind when you think of a good listener? I think of these: Encouraging the other person to talk about what they want to talk about. Giving a person time to think about what they want to say. Not leading them or filling in the end of their sentences - not interrupting. Being genuinely interested in what the person talking is saying. Letting the person finish, taking time to take what they said into account, and giving feed back or at the very least recognition that you listened and paid attention. Then advice or thoughts can be communicated if necessary.

I want to write to discover more about myself. This is a subject that I’m not iron clad on - at all. I go back and fourth on how I am to be and how I view others when it comes to this matter. Right now I feel like I fall somewhere in the middle. A very high percentage of people today (in my opinion), especially people that fall in my generation, seem to fall under the category, and if I may quote a good friend of mine’s blog, “MeMonsters.”

Have you ever noticed someone not listening to you, and only thinking about what they want to say when your finished. It looks as if a giant ball of words will explode inside of them if they don’t interrupt you and tell you their story “building off yours of course.” Interrupting…do I even have to say anything. I mean, who likes being interrupted? Or: my personal favorite. When you finish talking, telling a story, or making a simple statement a person replies with 'NO!,' then follows with their story or statement that does not disagree with what you said at all. If your confused it looks like this:

- “…, so that’s what we did last summer at the cottage.”
- “No! Like, me and my friends wake boarded like every day last summer! It was the craziest summer ever!”

Here is what I struggle with: In the book “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” which is the very best selling psychological self-help book in history, it essentially instructs us not to talk, not to boast, not to take pride in accomplishment, but to listen at all times, encourage others to talk about themselves, be genuinely interested in others and what they are saying, NEVER argue, and so on. (That’s a very small nutshell of what the book goes into.) I've known many that are the complete opposite of that. Then again, Some people are naturally like that too. I have a friend that will listen your brains out and never speak a word about himself. It’s so natural, so selfless, so beautiful, and so appreciated by so many. However, what about being an outgoing person, letting your voice be heard, standing up for what you believe in, making a statement of who you are, and just giving the raw truth? How are people going to get to know you and love you for who you are if you do nearly nothing but listen?

The crazy thing is I think the book is right. People will like you more if you listen. Obviously no one likes total me-monsters, but I feel that even someone in the middle of the scale won’t be liked as much as a skilled listener.

Really look deep inside yourself and into human nature and think about this. You may anecdotally and individually say that you don’t follow this set of unconscious guidelines, but in practice, from experience, and lots of observation I see it as universal. Aren’t we genuinely interested in others lives, what they’ve gone through, that there may be something we could learn - so that we don’t have to try and ‘focus on listening.’ Or are we that intoxicated with our own egos, and that drunk on our on importance?

Trapeze

I graduated college as an English-writing major.


One could draw several conclusions from that statement.

Such as: I want be known as an English-major, I love reading, I was all ready a skilled writer before college, I am a very eclectic gentlemen, I plan on writing books for a living, I plan on editing sentences for the rest of my life, or I want to be stuffed in a cubical writing proposals for grants as my career. I could go on, but I'll stop here.

There are a few minor truths in those statements, but in fact - none really represent. I chose to be an English major because I struggled with it in early on in life. There were a few amazing people that were labeled as teachers. You know, those people that are so much more than their profession. They developed, in me, an interest in writing. I figured what better way to become better at something than to dive into the deepest end possible. Even after college, I'm still not a great writer. I can see the ceilings set above me built from my natural talent, and that is okay with me - because I enjoy it. I was shown the real reason to write: To explore and discover one's self more.

The following is on of my favorite poems I wrote in college. This poem is nearly a perfect metaphor for my life and blogs to come.

Trapeze,

If I were to slip
To the net, I would fall,
Yet I soar; I release my grip

Though every swing might mean I fail.
It only takes one hand to sail,

Upward and through the mystic air
From one stunt to another, from here to there.

The nets hang below
I've trained too hard to need the rope.
I let go. I hang onto hope.